two days after my birthday..

just finished my assignment so thought i'll give another update to the blog.Don't think anyone is actually reading it but I would put in something with the hope someone is reading. it's been 2 weeks being here in Johor. Not much as changed..I still attend class with the same people as last year..Add a few more new faces and that makes the new class. I actually had fun meeting new people now..compared to last time, I would have just shyed away instantly. Guess it's a change in my life I would say.

Oh! my birthday!well..spent it with my coursemates and church members..they each bought a cake..which means i'm ate two cakes in two days.haha..fun!I was suprised by gifts that was given..(thanks Jon and Doctor's family!)And getting so many wishes on fb..Mum's words that she was so suprised I get so many wishes.She must have thought I don't have that much friends. I really thought it's that as well.Guess I was wrong. Facebook really, in this case, serves its purpose to finding back old friends and reminiscing the good old times. Thanks to all for your wishes.

Not much went through my mind. I'm going to camp this Friday..so weekends won't be around for church..I'm coming home next week!which would be nice to see home finally. All in all.it's been a good two weeks.I felt at peace..and not much things to be mad about. Somehow I felt calmer now. Don't really give in to emotions as frequent as before. Believe me it's not my good work that got me here.IT 's God and I finally see what it's like to be His servant and really do things to His will. He will really be there for you and provide you with resources.Books that will enlighten you more and help you to grow up.

Jon told me that when you have a wish or resolution in life, it actually helps you to get your focus right. Though i told him I don't have a resolution for birthday or new year, I think it's time I learn to make one or a few. No harm rite?If i can't acheive it, at least i work to it so it's better than having no direction at all.Maybe I should start one with my 21st birthday just past two days ago.

1. I wanna finish reading the bible. THIS has never happen and i wish to do all I can to finish old testament at least
2. Finish 5 books in Christian Growth. I don't read much so it's good to get books to finish..Current count is 2..so 3 more to go..
3. Learn to look at people's shortcomings and bear with them.Mind you, I'm not perfect, so it does not give me the right to comment or complain on people just because he or she is weak in that aspect.
4. Reach out to people and make a difference in people's eyes. It's not easy to do this but lately, i'm stopping myself from swearing.I think that actually helped me to cool down and think straight lately..so it has helped..

going with 4 would be nice for now.Let's hope I can keep them up.

This is a personal note to someone caught in the middle

I'm sorry, I guess we're just not meant to be. You may have intertwined my life before but now, I have to cut it off..I wish you all the best in life.

this is a post for my friend

Something ended for her tonight..something that i find unfair and saddening for her.This would be my point of view to the guy who started it all with her..and ended it all with her as well.It's not me in the words..I'm just the one writing what she might be feeling.

" I could still remember the time when you first told me the three words..It's fresh in my memory.It was at night..we met half way from our rooms. We just looked at each other.I saw the sparkle in your eyes, the faint blush on your face, lips that quiver and could not find the right words to say. You mumbled it out, I couldn't hear it..but i know exactly what you said to me..I said yes..I thought it was a new beginning.I thought I would be appreciated more than anything else.I thought i see it in your eyes as they sparkle with delight, no matter how small they were. I thought I found it.

We spend our nights talking on the phone.We texted and we would not end till late at night. I felt we had something going on. For the first time, I felt real happy. I can't wait to see you in classes.You would sit next to me. We would steal glances at each other sometimes. I know you aren't the expressive type..but I know you want to try something new..things couples do.I told you to be patient and take things slow.Those were the happiest days of my life.

Holidays came. You met my parents. You stayed over. You met my sister. It seems so right. I wish you don't have to go back. That you can stay a bit longer so that I can see you. I bet you were wishing the same thing too.Two months came and gone. I did not feel anything wrong between us.We still talked like normal.WE cared for each other. I thought the world should know what connection we have.

BUT

it seems you don't wan things to go that way.You were avoiding me. YOU were holding yourself back.YOU wish not to see me. Although sitting next to you, I don't feel like you're even near me. Where are you?You would not even talk to me. My friends somehow felt more important than I am. I don't want to pick up your calls is because I don't want to hurt you at the moment of frustration and hurt.I know I will say something wrong and that's not the way it should go.I thought about it. We both are at fault. We should work this out.

I tried talking to you.I tried to make a date. YOU...

You said you're not ready..stressed out..and then..you said..we should..take time off..

My heart sank.So that's what you want now?After just a couple of high flying moments, I'm nothing to you now. Why would you now work it out with me? I could have changed, we could have seen a brighter future..why drop out when it got tough?

But what done is done..We have agreed to go our separate ways..Those things we had, it will be memories..and lessons from now on..

I'm sorry..

Goodbye.."

To a friend

To my friends

Don't cry after you lose it.Don't tell me you regret after you lose it.Some things come one time.Either you keep it or you lose it forever. Cherish the things you have now..IT won't come twice..

post-world cup final

It's the morning after the world cup..Last night 's game ended about 5 am plus..

obviously places with TV are packed and full of cheering supporters rooting for their own team

Holland vs Spain

I personally rooted for Holland..since the group stages and even before the World Cup

Having such a wonderful passing flow and budding players mixed with talent and experience,

I got to say it's a well balanced team.

The bad news is they lost..-.-

I didn't watch that match..but it must be one of the dirtiest matches ever and the busiest for the ref.

Sending off during extra time?Well..Whatever did you players do to get so many cards?Or the ref was showing his ugly head again?

Anyhow, Spain won..kudos to them.They did beat Germany who trashed Argentina with a thumping four goals to no response. That is a match i enjoyed watching and just feel amazed with some players in the German team.They will be coming up in the world stage very soon with escalated transfer value. Don't be suprised if u see Ozil or Muller plying trades out of Germany soon.

To Spain, finally!How long did it took you to win football's most coveted prize?Well..should have seen it coming after they won the Euro Championship last two years ago..practically, the same bunch of players are used and surely they have a better flow compare to other teams. Come to think of it, it's good to have Casillas finally getting the world cup, Puyol, Iniesta..Torres too..so Congrats to them.

so the wait starts all over again.4 Years and counting. Next world cup would be in Brazil. Let's hope to see something happen by then!For now..back to civilization and work people..been spending far too long time in front of the TV. Notice the eye bags and drowziness when you go to work?It's call "tak cukup sleep"!haha..

1st post..the usual..crap

First post all over again..sudden urge to do it..seeing ppl do it..makes me wan to do it as well

It's been a long long while since i wrote a blog..last few ones were full of...self pity

Hopefully this one would go longer than i expect..XD

Maybe i should go for few expectations?

Me wants the f4 ppl to follow this blog..KSK,Kok Lin,DJ..

Maybe have Jon Jon to follow this as well..which I think they would without me asking

Next is to have the gf to follow this as well..if she wants to anyway..

I hope to put in good posts that ppl like to read..problem with blogs..

IT"S A GIRL"S THING!

don't seem to feel right when you're reading your guy friend's blog..

but if they really follow and I continue to write..it means they won't miss a thing in my life..haha

i think i'll keep this post short and simple..and to find followers first..haha..

signing out